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In Episode 74 of the She Lift Project Podcast, Cynthia Kirkpatrick sits down with Paya Sample, CEO of Peak Leaders Collective and executive coach to leaders across industries and education. Paya works with executives, administrators, and managers to build trust-based cultures, develop rising leaders, and lead with authenticity and purpose. Together, Cynthia and Paya explore what it actually means to lead with heart. Paya explains it all, from the neuroscience of emotional pain in the workplace to the personal story of walking away from a principal role she loved without a next step lined up.
This episode is for any woman who has ever been in a culture that drained her, led a team and wondered if she was doing it right, or stayed somewhere too long because leaving felt like quitting. You’ll learn Paya’s three-part framework for building trust through relationship, belonging, and vulnerability. You’ll also learn practical tools for shifting culture, giving feedback differently, and rediscovering your own zone of genius. After listening, you will be equipped to take immediate action as a leader or team member to start building the kind of workplace where people actually want to show up.
00:00 Introduction
01:24 What heart-centered leadership actually means
03:31 Why leaders have to want to change — coaching can’t fix what ownership won’t
06:26 The neuroscience of trust and emotional pain at work
08:55 How to start building trust: relationship, belonging, and vulnerability
11:20 Why pretending to know everything destroys credibility
12:43 Knowing your zone of genius — and where it ends
16:50 Inside Peak Leaders Collective: what the coaching work looks like
20:05 Paya’s journey: race cars, art, teaching, and becoming a principal
24:23 Leading a school through COVID — and what it cost her
28:26 Walking away without a plan: the hardest decision and what followed
33:13 The grief, the restoration, and rediscovering her brilliance
36:02 How consulting work led to Peak Leaders Collective
39:09 Using hard seasons to serve others more deeply
41:56 Knowing yourself so you know when you’re out of alignment
44:07 The wins folder: a practice every leader needs
47:00 Reframing feedback as a relationship-building tool
50:28 Get out of your office: why open door policies fail
55:24 What culture transformation actually looks like in practice
57:22 Real client transformations: trust rebuilt and confidence found
01:04:07 Leadership is not an innate talent — it has to be developed
01:06:15 The snowball effect of promoting without developing
01:09:09 Final thoughts and how to work with Paya
Content Notice
This podcast and all She Lift Project content represents the opinions of Cynthia Kirkpatrick and her guests. The content here is for informational purposes only, and should not be taken as professional advice – financial, legal, medical, or otherwise.
Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and across all She Lift Project media channels are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors.
“Women in their 40s start to disappear from photographs because they think that they’re not young enough, thin enough, pretty enough. But the truth is that when you are in your 40s, you are leading a company, you’ve had children, you have a family, you’re doing things in your community. This is when you should be photographed.”
“You have to be cautious and mindful of the board of directors you invite into your head. And we as women especially listen terribly to that board of directors. And if you have one bad seat on there, one bad teacher, one bad classmate, one whatever from your history that you are listening to, it can really sabotage you.”
“You just have to do it, come back and face what is new and different and learn and grow. You can’t stop thinking. You have to keep thinking, how can I go forward with this. Nothing has to be the way it is. It isn’t going to be a straight line, it’s going to take its own path, and you have to be ready to follow that path and move forward.”
“Everybody has a light inside of them, and you have a choice. You can either use lighter fluid or an extinguisher. Same thing goes with everything. Same with people’s talents. You can either light it up or you can extinguish it.”
“If you follow this methodology, if you follow the pattern, the outcome is inevitable. You cannot mess it up because it’s just calculated moves that are in writing.”
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