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In this powerful episode of the She Lift Project Podcast, host Cynthia Kirkpatrick welcomes Dr. Leslie Davis, a relationship therapist, owner of Eva Empowered, and international speaker. Dr. Davis specializes in helping women heal from toxic relationships, increase self-worth, and walk in freedom by knowing their truth. The conversation explores self-silencing among women, recognizing toxic relationship patterns, and the unique mental health challenges facing single mothers.
This episode is for any woman who feels like she’s shrinking herself to fit into relationships, whether romantic, professional, or familial. Listeners will learn to identify the signs of toxic dynamics including gaslighting, love bombing, and codependency, understand why self-silencing is so damaging, and discover practical strategies for having difficult conversations. After listening, you’ll be equipped to recognize when you’re making yourself invisible, know how to ask for help without feeling like a burden, and start building healthier connections in all areas of your life.
Opening & Mission (0:25 – 2:17) – 1 min 52 sec
Introduction to Dr. Davis, Eva Empowered, empowering women to heal from toxic relationships
High-Achieving Women & Olivia Pope Syndrome (2:17 – 4:18) – 2 min 1 sec
Working with women successful everywhere except relationships, unrecognized trauma
Single Motherhood Mental Health Crisis (4:50 – 6:54) – 2 min 4 sec
She Matters movement, Springfield IL story, mental health struggles, Tyler Perry movie reference
Introduction to Self-Silencing (7:03 – 7:56) – 53 sec
Support is huge, acknowledging struggle, getting help
CORE: What is Self-Silencing (7:14 – 9:16) – 2 min 2 sec ⭐ TOP CLIP
Definition, research-backed link to depression and suicide, emotional moment with host
Society’s Message to Women (10:16 – 11:11) – 55 sec
Women as nurturers, giving to everyone else, emptying your cup
Making Yourself Small to Stay Safe (11:11 – 13:15) – 2 min 4 sec ⭐ TOP CLIP
Abuse requiring silence, becoming invisible, staying small for safety
Jiu-Jitsu for Empowerment (13:15 – 15:50) – 2 min 35 sec ⭐ TOP CLIP
9-year journey, perfect for women who self-silence, body awareness, defending yourself
Women Supporting Women (15:50 – 18:28) – 2 min 38 sec
Evolution of women’s rights, nurturing each other, WOO groups, entrepreneur loneliness
Teaching Through Sharing (18:28 – 21:24) – 2 min 56 sec
Different ways to teach, planting seeds, mentoring, modeling
“For Such a Time As This” – Finding Purpose (19:55 – 21:32) – 1 min 37 sec
Dr. Debbie Turner mentorship, Esther 4:14, knowing you’re in your purpose
Called at Age 13 (21:32 – 24:26) – 2 min 54 sec ⭐ TOP CLIP
Seventh grade advice, studying relationships, single parent home, becoming a relationship therapist
Seeing Bad Relationships Everywhere (24:26 – 25:48) – 1 min 22 sec
Being transparent, pointing out red flags, matching couples who got married
Is Relationship Therapy Newer? (25:48 – 27:07) – 1 min 19 sec
Difference from couples/marriage therapy, helping all types of relationships
Why Relationships Are Harder Now (27:07 – 31:44) – 4 min 37 sec
Not Knowing How to Deal with Conflict (30:41 – 31:44) – 1 min 3 sec
Childhood conditioning, wearing out curiosity, self-silencing roots
Traditional Families & Hidden Conflict (31:44 – 33:10) – 1 min 26 sec
Not arguing in front of kids, teens finding voice, perceived disrespect
How to Have Difficult Conversations (33:10 – 36:09) – 2 min 59 sec ⭐ TOP CLIP
Teens & Emotional Intelligence (36:09 – 38:54) – 2 min 45 sec
Kids better at EI, using language, social media influence, helping parents
Gen X & Emotions Wheel (38:54 – 39:45) – 51 sec
Identifying real emotions, wheel of emotions, what’s underneath anger
New Emotion-Tracking App (39:45 – 40:05) – 20 sec
Too short standalone, but good B-roll topic
What Women Struggle With Most (40:05 – 42:07) – 2 min 2 sec
Toxic relationships defined: can’t be yourself, numbness, codependency, feeling needed
Subtle vs. Loud Toxic Relationships (41:29 – 42:07) – 38 sec
Short but important point – good for social snippet
Gaslighting Explained (42:07 – 42:44) – 37 sec
Definition: questioning reality, manipulation tool, boss/friend/family can gaslight
Gaslighters vs. Narcissists (42:44 – 44:59) – 2 min 15 sec
Control issues, diagnosable narcissism, toxic environment signs, behavioral changes
“They’re Not Always Bad” – The Confusion (44:59 – 46:25) – 1 min 26 sec
Why people stay, not always toxic, making excuses, staying too long
The Mask Abusers Wear (46:25 – 48:46) – 2 min 21 sec ⭐ TOP CLIP
Gradual reveal, control tactics, abuse cycle, “I didn’t mean it”
How to Break Free (48:46 – 49:03) – 17 sec
Transition clip
Education & Healthy Examples (49:03 – 50:42) – 1 min 39 sec
Awareness, choosing different, attracted to what you know, surrounded by healthy people
Dr. D’s Own Experience (47:45 – 48:46) – 1 min 1 sec
Already captured in “Mask” clip above
Stories That Save Lives (49:03 – 51:15) – 2 min 12 sec
Single moms feeling safe, breaking down, never having support, goal to save a life
We’re Not Alone (51:15 – 52:22) – 1 min 7 sec
Sharing stories, all making mistakes, getting help, finding right people
You’re Not a Burden (52:22 – 53:22) – 1 min ⭐ TOP CLIP #1 PRIORITY
“You don’t get to decide you’re a burden” – the most powerful quote
Creating Support Groups (51:50 – 52:31) – 41 sec
Don’t need to be professional, start from experience
Small Acts Matter (52:31 – 53:05) – 34 sec
Meals, childcare, smiles, questions
Honest Answers (53:05 – 53:45) – 40 sec
Releasing burden fears, right person/setting
Don’t Decide For Others (53:45 – 54:05) – 20 sec
Don’t prevent people from helping you
Building Business & Getting Hacked (54:05 – 56:38) – 2 min 33 sec
TikTok ban, losing accounts since 2007, blessing in disguise, rebranding, YouTube channel
Keep Pushing Forward – Cody Sanchez (56:38 – 57:16) – 38 sec
Do it now, capitalize on ideas
Vision Boards & Writing Things Down (57:16 – 58:23) – 1 min 7 sec ⭐ TOP CLIP
Dreaming since childhood, vision boards, visual reminders, choosing your path
Word of the Year: Refinement (58:23 – 59:19) – 56 sec
Lost accounts early in year of “refinement,” many things fitting the word
Who to Work With & How to Find Dr. D (59:19 – 1:01:06) – 1 min 47 sec
Anyone wanting healthy relationships, all platforms, Cadre app, Tuesday coffee chats
Closing: Relationship with Self (1:01:06 – 1:01:40) – 34 sec
Building better relationship with yourself first, appreciation for sharing
Content Notice
This podcast and all She Lift Project content represents the opinions of Cynthia Kirkpatrick and her guests. The content here is for informational purposes only, and should not be taken as professional advice – financial, legal, medical, or otherwise.
Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and across all She Lift Project media channels are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors.
“I got to a point in Frank’s office where I realized there was kind of a ceiling. People that I had come in after me, I was training, were now moving up. And my ego got to the best of me. This is the dream job. Like, what happens after Frank Gehry? What could possibly be next after that?”
We’re catalysts for better conversation. And we know at Filament that the teams that we work with are not looking for the right answer, because there’s no such thing as the right answer. There is the next best answer to the questions that we’re asking.
“Research actually shows when there’s this lack of trust in a relationship, this lack of connection, the same part of our brain that processes physical pain gets activated when there’s an emotional pain. Right? And so if I’m feeling rejected or I’m feeling like I’m not part of the team or I’m not valued in any way, that part of our brain activates and says, like, pain. And so if you think about it in that way, think about the number of people who are walking around your office every day in pain.”
“Women in their 40s start to disappear from photographs because they think that they’re not young enough, thin enough, pretty enough. But the truth is that when you are in your 40s, you are leading a company, you’ve had children, you have a family, you’re doing things in your community. This is when you should be photographed.”
“You have to be cautious and mindful of the board of directors you invite into your head. And we as women especially listen terribly to that board of directors. And if you have one bad seat on there, one bad teacher, one bad classmate, one whatever from your history that you are listening to, it can really sabotage you.”
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